ROW80 – 2022 – Round 4 – Goals & Check-in 1 (October, 9th 2022)
Hi everyone!
Note: To keep posts short, I’ve made a Trello board with my goals for the year. Feel free to check it out if you want to know more about the bigger plan.
My word for the week is STRESS.
I have a shot at a job at university which is a great opportunity and a way to financial safety, but I’ve realized it was also a source of stress.
Mostly because it means taking a step back from building the life I want, focused on family and love rather than career.
And in a way, it would also mean all the energy I’ve put in my own business this past year would have been for nothing, so I need to find a way to keep it running on the side if this job does happen.
And if it doesn’t, I’ll have been stressed out for nothing, which is the last thing I need when my energy levels are so low.
The truth is, I don’t really want to go back to working in the city full-time eventually (apparently I could start part-time to let me complete my ongoing contracts, which I appreciate) but I also have to be realistic: that would be the only safe way to ensure I can keep the house, which I need both for my business, for personal comfort and even fostering kids in the long run.
So I know it’s a step back (but so is divorcing when you think about it), and I just wonder whether it’s to better bounce back afterwards as we say in French.
But back to my own business. The only way I can possibly keep it running while working that job would be the e-learning platform. So far, I’ve focused on Japanese there, but I need to switch to English right now because I’ve just entered a new partnership with an English certification center and bought some 20 tests.
So though I had initially decided to take it easy on work, I’ll have to add this and make it a priority to be able to offer online English courses ASAP.
For now, it will replace volunteering as the French team is down to me only anyway and I can’t get the job done on my own. And the idea of adding an extra goal is just too much stress in itself anyway.
And even if I don’t get the job at the university, I can still use those online courses to develop my business, so it can’t be in vain at least.
And finally, this stress has allowed me to realize my meds were actually part of the problem. I needed to express the stress and they kept it too much in check. So after a massive panic attack that made me vomit the meds I had just taken, I had a better, clearer day. Of course I can’t just stop of my own accord so I went to my physician’s and we’re reducing the dose little by little. And I can’t tell you how good it feels to be already regaining some cognitive functions that were difficult to access lately!
So the stress was good in the the end because it helped me move forward.
October Goals
Round Goals
Ok, so I haven’t exactly been writing a lot but I’m still adding a writing goal with my memoir as I worked on it over the summer. My writing goals are mostly attempts rather than actual goals, and I’ll be fine if they don’t exactly happen, or even if I only make very little progress. (Plus I’m making an adorable mat for one fo my spiritual goddaughters at the moment, so I figure when that’s done in a couple of weeks, I’ll have a slot I can dedicate to writing again, if I don’t need to use it for studying, that is.)
As I’ve been steadier with translating, I’ll keep similar goals. The same goes for publishing meditations and other well-being content. Since writing or revising are not exactly my forte right now, I don’t think I’ll be publishing much else for a while.
As for work, I thought I’d taking it easier, especially as I might take a second job if it can fit my current schedule (I’m not dropping out of school or sacrificing any clients for this, even if it does bring financial security, because that would be going against my well-being goals, which are a top priority) but in the end, I need to get ready in case I do get the job because there’s no way I’m closing my business just like that after working so hard on it.
Renovation goals are the trickiest. Whether we sell the house or I can buy it for myself, there are some things that need to be done, some of them sooner than later, especially the kitchen sink and furniture. But since my future-ex-husband is not keen on doing them and has a way of always making himself scarce on weekends, I imagine it will be slow. Thankfully, we have a friend who’s willing to help with the kitchen, and I’m sure we could finish the bathroom by ourselves with just a little guidance.
Last but not least, my personal goals, which are actually my #1 priority as I realize I can’t hope to get anything done if I’m not feeling well. I’ve reduced my expectations with yoga to 3 times a week. Good news is my appetite seems to be returning so I can contemplate exercising more regularly again. Too bad I’m still having a hard time in the mornings right now, as I’m normally a morning person and have very low energy levels in the evenings. We’ll see how that goes, especially if I turn to hibernating mode.