ROW80 – 2023 – Check-in 1 (January, 15th 2023)

Hi everyone! 

Note: To keep posts short, I’ve made a Trello board with my goals for the year. Feel free to check it out if you want to know more about the bigger plan.

My word for the week is MELANCHOLY.

It’s been quite a rollercoaster, actually, but the sad moments when I get lost in thoughts are still pretty common. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be easy seeing my husband getting ready to move out of the house, even if we’ve been discussing the possibility of us going on differently, but I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard.

In the end, I don’t think it’s the moving out part so much, but it made me realize how much I miss him. Though I still feel living apart is the best solution, I don’t feel quite ready to us not being close.

I just wish there was something I could do, but I guess it’s only about patience, and hope. But hope is a tricky thing, and it can bring about its share of despair sometimes.

So I just cry this out sometimes—more often than I care to admit.

Goals are good because they keep me busy and focused on something else. And I guess I should be glad everything seems manageable, as I used to bury myself into work to avoid feeling the negative emotions too much. Now, it’s more like a welcome distraction when my mind won’t rest.