ROW80 – 2022 – Round 3 – Check-in 12 (September, 25th 2022)

Hi everyone! 

Note: To keep posts short, I’ve made a Trello board with my goals for the year. Feel free to check it out if you want to know more about the bigger plan.

My word for the week is RELOADED.

Kind of like the Matrix. There was a moment on Monday when I was afraid COVID would kill me just like it had a dear friend a couple of years ago. Well, his heart stopped and he had COVID, so no certainty, but I started feeling pains in my chest so freaking was the natural course. 

Then I made an appointment with the doctor to be sure nothing was wrong (and I’m fine as you can see, the pain was in my ribs, not the heart itself) but it also got me thinking. If I did go, what was I leaving behind? A failed marriage, 2 beautiful daughters I would never see grow into wonderful women, amazing friends and a job I love but I’ve been working so hard on for over a year without getting a return on investment yet. That won’t do! 

So I think it’s time for Julie 3.0 (2.0 being the version after family estrangement) and that’s why I chose reloaded instead of REBIRTH, though I did hesitate. But I’m not reborn, I’m still me, and I’m even feeling I’m reconnecting with who I really was and started to forget.

One thing I’ve had on my mind for long is fostering a kid. I started to look at how the system works in France. It’s far from ideal as you need the birth parents’ authorization for pretty much anything, but it turns out it’s also a paid job that would give me the financial safety I’ve been looking for. Obviously, that’s just a plus and not the reason why I want to do it, but it could help me do it much earlier than anticipated. 

But of course, before that, we need to divorce and I need my business to be better to be sure to provide for my 2 daughters and one extra kid at least. 

In the end, I truly believe in love, compassion and kindness, so I want my life to reflect that. I know a lady who fosters a kid in L’s class, so before anything, I’ll try and ask her more about it. But if my business does get better enough for me to keep the house a few month while trying to get my licence, I would definitely want to be able to make a difference and offer a safe home to a kid who’s in the system.

Now, that’s the ideal plan, but of course, I might resort to getting a cheap social lodging and saving money to buy a house of my own later and then foster. Let’s call this plan B, as it wouldn’t be as good for my daughters (with plan A, they could keep their home), my business (moving usually means slowing down on that front) and even my finances as it means less new things to buy urgently.

And on another positive note, I’ve reached all the monthly goals I haven’t put on hold so I can take it easier as I go back to work and school after COVID-19. 

I’ll be wrapping up for the month and the Round next Sunday but all things considered, I think I did pretty well, including knowing my limits, which is still kind of new.